Love Addiction

What is Love Addiction?

We all need to be able to form a healthy and loving relationship with other people and as such love is an important part of human interaction.

When someone suffers with love addiction it can be a painful, compulsive and an addictive disorder that negatively impacts not only the addict but also the object of their obsession. Often, people suffering with love addiction are intensely attracted to someone who is emotionally unavailable, unresponsive or who will disregard the relationship.

Love addicts often put most of the work into their romantic relationships with a lack of regard for their own wellbeing, which in turn leads to resentment if it is not recognized, appreciated or valued. Alternatively, love addicts will bounce from one unhealthy romantic relationship to another as they seek further instant gratification from a loving and romanticised, or perfect, relationship that may not ever exist.

Love addicts tend to enjoy the excitement that “being in love” brings and will often fall in love easily and quickly with intense interpersonal relationships that often have poor boundaries.

The causes of love addiction are typically rooted in early life experiences. The most likely factors that contribute to love addiction are childhood neglect or abandonment, rejection, and physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Individuals with low levels of self-esteem or those who had less-than-nurturing childhoods may grow up looking for constant reassurance from others. Love addicts also tend to enjoy the feeling of excitement that being “in love” brings. Among the core characteristics of love addiction, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.

Do I Have a Problem with Love Addiction?

Love addiction is a serious condition and may result in child custody and legal problems, depression, anxiety and emotional instability, which can impact on work and mental health and, in some cases, lead to self-harm.

The symptoms of love addiction include:

• Numerous intense and unstable interpersonal relationships
• Inability to let go even though the relationship is unhealthy
• Difficulty being alone, accompanied by frantic efforts to avoid being alone
• Bombarding the person of affection with texts, phone calls, emails
• Feelings of abandonment, anger and frustration if the person of affection wants time alone
• Feelings of boredom and emptiness when not involved in a relationship
• Overwhelming needs for acceptance, approval and affection
• Low self-worth
• Inability to focus on anything else except the relationship or pursuit of one

Love Addiction Treatment at Strong Hope

Love addiction is a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love often in in an effort to get a sense of security and worth from another person.

Our approach to love addiction treatment is similar to that of treating other addictions – that is, through high-intensity psychological interventions (CBT, DBT and psychodynamic therapy), positive psychology, nutrition, sleep hygiene and exercise,

For those clients choosing a 12-Step model of treatment this will be delivered alongside access to external 12-Step meetings on the island.

The focus of the love addiction programme is around cognitive restructuring and self-esteem building. Love addiction programme clients will begin in looking at the underlying causes of their addiction to love, which may be related to a whole host of things including trauma and self-esteem issues. It is vital that these underlying issues are identified and addressed as they are key to relapse prevention.

We explore these through a range of talking and non-talking therapies, so that clients understand why they do the things that they do but equally importantly then learn new skills and coping strategies in order to reduce the chances of returning to old behaviour patterns. This we do through individual 1:1 work and group work for those who prefer.

One aspect of our programme that is key to recovery is for clients to see the importance of being themselves as an individual and experiencing personal pleasures and joy outside of relationships. This we do this through our adventure therapy using the natural resources that the island has to offer.

All clients work to a daily schedule that is tailored for the individual in relation to their treatment plan and consists of a balanced programme of psychotherapy, complementary therapies, adventure therapy, health/nutrition and fitness. Clients will be expected to work on therapeutic assignments based on issues that are identified as part of their treatment, which they do outside of the core face-to-face hours and present these in their sessions with their therapist. As clients come to the end of their treatment they will work with their primary therapist and therapy team to produce a relapse prevention plan, which Strong Hope will support through the aftercare programme that we offer.

Each client will have an experienced and fully trained primary therapist who is an expert in dealing with love addiction, and this therapist will support and coach them throughout their stay even though the client may engage with other members of the therapy team according to need.

Programme Duration

Strong Hope offers a range of love addiction programmes from just 14 days up to 42 days depending on client availability and need. For those clients staying 28 days or more we also offer an inclusive family programme towards the end of the client’s stay.